By Chiagoziem Abosi
Edited by Bababunmi Agbebi
There is a formula many Nigerian children grow up knowing by heart.
Go to school.
Get a good job.
Get married.
Build a house.
Have children.
Take care of your parents.
Then, somehow, become responsible for everybody else.
It sounds simple.
But what happens when the world you are entering no longer works the way it did when your parents were your age?
For many young Nigerians, that is the uncomfortable question.
For generations, certain careers have carried an almost automatic stamp of approval.
Medicine. Law. Engineering. Banking. The civil service.
Today, however, a young person might want to become a content creator, software developer, entrepreneur, designer, digital marketer, filmmaker or work remotely for a company thousands of kilometres away.
And sometimes, the problem isn’t that the career is bad.
It is that it doesn’t look familiar.
There is also pressure around marriage.
At what age should you be married?
When should you have children?
Should a woman prioritise marriage over her career?
Should a man already own a house before getting married?
These expectations are not imaginary. They are part of how many families and communities understand adulthood.
But Nigeria is changing.
A 2026 report found that 61% of Nigerians believe women should decide for themselves whether and when to marry, showing that attitudes around traditional expectations are already evolving.
Also, a university degree no longer automatically translates into a stable job.
A 2025 survey of Nigerians aged 18–35 found that 23% said they were unemployed and looking for work. The same survey found that rising living costs were the biggest problem young Nigerians wanted government to address, followed by unemployment.
That matters because expectations don’t exist in a vacuum.
It is easy to tell a 25-year-old to “settle down” when the path to financial stability appears straightforward.
It is different when that person is juggling unstable income, rent, transportation, career uncertainty and the pressure to support family.
So perhaps the question isn’t whether young people are becoming less responsible.
Perhaps the definition of adulthood itself is changing.
But are traditions really the problem?
Not necessarily.
Some expectations exist for good reasons.
Parents want their children educated because education can create opportunities.
Families encourage marriage because they value companionship and family.
Children are encouraged to support their parents because family responsibility is an important part of Nigerian culture.
The problem begins when an expectation becomes a requirement for acceptance.
When a young person cannot pursue a career they love because “people will talk.”
When someone remains in an unhappy relationship because they have been told that being unmarried at a certain age is failure.
When a graduate takes a job they hate because anything outside the traditional career path is considered unserious.
Or when someone spends money they don’t have trying to look successful because everyone expects them to have “arrived.”
Remember that young Nigerians are not necessarily rejecting responsibility, many are simply trying to figure out what responsibility looks like in an economy that is very different from the one their parents entered.
Maybe success is becoming a doctor.
Maybe it is building a business.
Maybe it is moving abroad.
Maybe it is staying in Nigeria and building something here.
Maybe it is getting married at 25.
Maybe it is getting married at 35.
Maybe it is choosing not to marry.
The important question should perhaps be whether the person is building a life that is responsible, sustainable and meaningful to them.
Tradition can give us roots.
But roots should not become chains.
So, let’s talk.
What traditional expectation do you think puts the most pressure on young Nigerians, career, marriage, money, family responsibility or something else?
Do you think young people are abandoning good values, or are we simply redefining what adulthood and success should look like?
Tell us what you think in the comments.
