By Suad Ayinla.
Edited by Bababunmi Agbebi
Is turning 30 a milestone or a deadline for young Nigerians? For many, it is increasingly becoming the latter. Across Lagos and other parts of Nigeria, young people are constantly reminded that by 30, they should have “made it”, secured a high-paying job, bought a car, built a house, started a successful business or gotten married. What should simply be another stage of life has become a deadline for success, creating anxiety for those who feel are falling behind.
Social media has made the pressure even worse. Every day, young Nigerians see their peers celebrating new cars, weddings, promotions, businesses, vacations and expensive lifestyles. The problem is that social media rarely shows the struggles behind these achievements. The years of work, financial assistance from family, loans, failures and sacrifices. A 26-year-old scrolling through these posts may begin to question their own progress, even when they are doing reasonably well.
Family expectations add another layer to the pressure. For many Nigerian parents and relatives, turning 30 without a stable career, marriage or significant financial achievement can trigger uncomfortable questions. “When are you getting married?” “What have you achieved?” and “Look at your mates” are familiar statements for many young adults. Some respond by rushing into relationships, taking on financial responsibilities they cannot afford, or accepting jobs they dislike simply because they need something that looks impressive. Instead of making decisions based on readiness, they begin making them based on age.
The consequences can be significant. The constant race to succeed can lead to burnout, financial stress, low self-esteem and feelings of inadequacy. Young people may work excessively, sacrifice sleep and neglect their physical and emotional wellbeing because they believe there is no time to slow down. The pressure is particularly difficult in an economy where many graduates struggle to find stable employment and the cost of living continues to rise. It is difficult to tell someone to “work harder” when their reality includes unemployment, family responsibilities, rising rent and limited opportunities.
But perhaps the biggest problem with the “success before 30” mentality is that it assumes everyone starts from the same place. They don’t. Some people have family support, financial connections and opportunities from an early age, while others are paying their own bills, supporting relatives and trying to build a career from scratch. Some discover their passion in their early 20s, while others find their direction much later. There is no universal timetable for success, and reaching 30 without a house, car, marriage or six-figure salary does not mean someone has failed.
So, what does “making it” really mean? Perhaps it is time to stop treating 30 as a finish line and start seeing it as another chapter. There is nothing wrong with ambition, but success should not come at the cost of mental wellbeing, financial stability or personal happiness. Young Nigerians deserve the freedom to grow at their own pace, change careers, start again and define success for themselves. After all, if everyone is running the same race, who decided that we must all reach the finish line before 30?
