Young Blind Nigerian who met his wife on Facebook, achieves greatness in life, reveals his experiences

Demola Adeleke would be among the few determined individuals with visual impairment. Despite his disabilities, the 29-year-old teacher has accomplished a great deal.

You may think that because he lost his sight at the young age of 16, luck would always be on his side, but this is not the case. Demola informs us that after losing his sight he endured ridicule and humiliation in both his social and academic life.

In an interview with IkejaBird reporter, Onyinyechi Ugwoke, he tells us how growing up and losing his sight affected him and how he was able to muster the courage to avoid depression. He also talks about how he met his wife, Temmy.

Q: Can you tell us a little bit about yourself?

I am a graduate of Mass Communication in the University of Nigeria, Nsukka. Following my graduation from the university, I have engaged in various social entrepreneurial projects geared towards disability inclusion and inclusive education in Nigeria. I currently work with the Oyo State Teaching Service Commission as a classroom teacher.

Q: How did you become virtually impaired?

I suffered glaucoma as a child and became profoundly blind when I was 7, and by the time I was 16, I had completely lost my sight.
I was in secondary school at the time, preparing for my promotional exam into SS3, and losing my eyesight hence forced me out of school as I couldn’t cope again in such academic setting.

Q: How did you feel losing your sight at a young age of 16?

It was one hell of a nightmarish experience for me. My family and friends, although greatly devastated by my condition, only sympathized with me as expected, after which they also moved on with their lives.
Still reeling from the blow fate dealt me, I started losing my will to live. Concluding I would be better off rotting underground than living as a blind man, I attempted suicide, twice. Snuffing life right out of oneself isn’t easy though, hence I resigned to my pitiful fate and wished for a swift, painless death.

Q: How did you manage to attend regular schools despite your disability?

I have been trained on how to type on a typewriter and computer, so I can type very well. I take down notes into my tape recorder, listen to them when I needed to read, and for exams, the invigilator read out the exam questions while I typed out the answers on my computer.

Then those answers would be printed and submitted to the lecturer. I sometimes read electronic materials on my computer too.

The challenge i had was in the university as I needed to read a myriad of textbooks, many of which are too voluminous to dictate into a recording gadget.

What i did was connecting a portable scanner to my accessible laptop and pasting each page of a textbook on the scanning censor, just to access one of the various 400-page textbooks recommended by our lecturers.

Q: How are you able to operate an android phone and communicate on social media?

I’m acquainted with the QWERTY keyboard, hence I type dexterously on my devices with the screen reader to echo my writing.

Q: I must say, you’re doing incredibly well, you have been travelling abroad, doing research and working with NGOs. What has kept you going regardless of your disabilities? What motivates you to do more?

The knowledge that with my disability, I can’t hustle on the street like others kept me highly motivated. I had to channel all my energy into my studies, and completed my programme with 4.44/5.0 CGPA, finishing 4th in a class of 147 students.
I don’t have any other choice than to keep doing something. I am blind, so I can’t just go on the streets and take up a job. Most of these jobs are sight intensive, you need to use your eyes to do some things. Most jobs are intellectually demanding, so you just have to be smart. If I can’t use my eyes and do strenuous jobs, I should be able to use my brain too, that is what brought about some of the travelling I have done; a participant at the One Young World summit in London, a youth delegate at the Wilton Park conference in Sussex, United Kingdom, an ambassador of the World Literacy Foundation, Australia, and an ambassador of the Enterprise for Peace Scholars with the Netherlands Ministry of Foreign Affairs.
Life can be tiring, even if I had my sight, I think I will still feel so tired of life. So, you can’t just rest in this life and say you want to relax. You just have to keep doing something. Since I can’t see, I just have to do something, so I don’t end up as a liability or pitiable, which I don’t want for myself.

Q: Do you have plans of gaining back your sight?

No, I have gone past that.

Q: Are you saying there is no remedy or no financial backing?

No, it is not about financial backing. Glaucoma has no remedy. Once you are blind, you are blind. And I don’t think there is any successful eye transplant what I know is cornea transplant and some part of the eye but the whole eyes. Contrary to what we watch on Nollywood, majority of all these sight related issues that bring about blindness has no remedy, and they are irreversible. Once you are blind, you are blind.

Q: How did you meet your beautiful wife?

We met on Facebook. She came to my DM and requested that we be friends. Friends we became, then we both decided to meet physically.
In the days after our first meeting, she asked if I think we could date, and even though I wasn’t 100% sure if I wanted a committed relationship at the time, I said yes.

Q: How long did you guys court?

We courted for almost two beautiful years before deciding to be husband and wife. And I believe that this will be the best decision of our lives.

Q: You said, your wife asked you out. Were you surprised when she did? Because most virtually impaired are often disappointed when it comes to relationships. How did you feel?

I was not surprised. That would not be the first time a girl would make a pass at me, but it made me feel good that in spite of my disabilities, someone actually found me attractive.
I have had a lot of that experience in school. I can read the writing on the wall when a girl is not coming straight with me once I show interest in her. It is because I am blind, and she is not up for the challenge of dating a blind guy. So, I won’t try to convince her, I just withdraw. At a point I even stopped asking girls out. But when I notice you are showing interest in me, if I am interested, I just go for it.

Q: How would you describe your wife? How were you able to know that, yes, she is the one for me, even with my disabilities?

She is actually a very open person, she tells me everything, and you know when you are with someone and the person is genuine, you just know. She goes out of her way to satisfy me, please me, and she was not ashamed to hang out with me. Even when I don’t want to, she will try to convince me to go with her that she doesn’t want to go alone. She was not concerned about what people will say, the stares or the finger pointing. In fact, she tells me what is happening, and we just laugh over it. I have dated this girl for two years, we have made a lot of memories and had experiences, you know being together for that long. I should be able to tell, the kind of person she is. She is genuine, caring not just to me but that is also her nature. She is an empathic person and hardworking too.

Q: Madam, what endeared you to your husband?

I saw a blind, gentleman that could do so much for himself. And a man who respected women. So, I said to myself I really like this guy and I would like to have him for myself. He’s smart, brilliant, intelligent and funny.

Q: Did you receive backlash from friends and family when you made your decision to marry your husband?

Yes oo, so much that some people were saying he used charm (juju) on me. But since I don’t have so many friends, there were only few persons who commented on my choice of a partner.

Q: What is the biggest challenge you have faced being married to a visually impaired man?

Honestly, no challenges yet. Although people sometimes stare at us when we go out together, but I don’t see that as a challenge at all.

Q: Before the marriage, did you have concerns about marrying him, and how did you both overcome it??

No concerns actually, because he practically does most of his things himself. It’s fine if you’re there to help him, and if not, he will always find his way.

Recommended posts:

Fear of Missing Out (FOMO) – How social media is impacting mental health of youths IkejaBird Business: People call me ‘woman wrapper’ for being a hairstylist BLOCKBUSTER MOVIES TO MAKE YOUR VAL Anambra Monarch gives Obiano’s Wife 7-day ultimatum to appease the gods