Everyone talks about a better half who will bring happiness and light into their lives. However, they do not evaluate the cost of such a commitment thereby falling victim to common myths of marriage.
As humans, we are wired to crave the company of others and desire the attention of at least one special person to fill the natural void embedded in our souls.
One of the ways we do this is to delve into the deep commitment we call ‘Marriage’.
But what happens when we fall headlong into life’s deepest commitments with the pseudo surity of a fluffy cloud only to be met with the harsh realities of enduring devotion?
What do we do when we come face to face with the weaknesses that threaten the longevity of our covenant with our special someone?
What happens when we find ourselves in the center of a ferris wheel that keeps going on and on, never stopping till we breathe our last?
“Till death do us part”, so the vows say. What do we do when we get to the crossroads that presents the cart before the horse?
Myths of marriage are scales in the average person’s eyes that do not enable us to see the true purpose or the importance of marriage. This glitch in the matrix causes the castles we build in our minds to crumble before getting past the first coach
Prior information and preparation is ideal for such a mission that is sure to test our strengths, drive away our weaknesses and answer one of life’s constant questions, “What is love?”
Common myths of marriage
There are many things that cloud our judgment on what marriage is and make us ill-prepared for it.
In the following paragraphs we will look at the common myths of marriage and how they antagonize the realities of lasting marriages.
A perfect marriage
There is a popular saying that, “A perfect marriage is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.”
Many leap into this thing called marriage not even aware of what a perfect marriage is.
While the grand picture of a couple may look appealing to the eyes, a puzzle is not always about the grand picture but most importantly about the careful placement of each piece to fit into each other.
This analogy simply means that despite the loved up pictures and chivalrous social media posts, a lot of work goes into making a marriage truly perfect.
Every waking day as a couple is an opportunity to find more ways to fall in love with your partner.
The idea that love exists by the presence of butterflies and surreal day dreams is unsustainable as such feelings are only enabled by ‘drugs’.
Now before you put your phone down and say this writer is crazy, understand that the human body is a large chemical factory capable of producing every kind of hormone to sustain or induce moods.
The happy hormones that fuel the idea of love – oxytocin and dopamine are only drugs that give us a euphoric feeling with someone.
However, just like every other drug, they fade away and we are drawn back to the reality that is earth, where everyone has to take a burp after dinner or let out some gas at odd times.
When brought to reality, couples often find themselves at a loss for words on how they even made the decision to marry their spouses.
It is wise to bear in mind always that one way or the other, we are living short of what we ought to be.
Patience teaches us to bear with one another as this is the way to truly love.
Patience prompts us to gently guide one another into the right path. It teaches us to endure until our beloved has seen their wrong and makes the change.
Making the change comes from a desire to please the other and this is also rooted in true love.
Sacrificing our own will for the sake of others is another way we can show love to our beloved.
We’ve heard people say many times and I quote, “This is how I am”, but love compels us to serve one another.
We can only serve by knowing what pleases the other person and adjust accordingly.
READ ALSO: “Children are visitors, prioritize your marriage over your kids” – Nigerian married woman advises
Conclusion
There are no perfect marriages, as the standard of perfection varies from person to person, depending on the myths of marriage they have grown accustomed to.
However, a marriage can transform from a seemingly herculean endeavour to one that is fulfilling, giving us a chance to discover each other in a whole new light.
The key to attaining such is by desiring to go into marriage with the mindset to serve not to be served.
By doing this, we find fulfillment as it is more blessed to give than to receive. With each party reminding themselves that this is the goal, they are blessed with the joy and peace of a happy marriage.
