How to get a good man

By Opeyemi Kareem

Are you tired of constantly being served hot breakfast on a fancy platter? Are you tired of the tears, sweat and overwhelming lonesomeness? Has it dawned on you that the only men you attract are the worst kind to exist? Dear Queen, this article is for you.

A good man has to be one of the most yearned yet sparse quality every woman wants in a man. Even in the era of ‘men are scum’, many still pray for a good man to locate them. As Nigerians commonly say; who no like better thing? However, a good man will not just show up on your doorstep with flowers and chocolate. Life is not a Cinderella movie where Prince Charming comes running after you because of a shoe. To get a good man you have to leave more than a glass slipper. It might make your teeth itch but these are tips on getting a good man.

Y.O.U (Your Own Universe)

The first thing you need to note is that it all starts and ends with you. The steps you need to take, the decisions and indecisions you need to make in attracting a good man all depends on you. In your universe, you are the only one that knows exactly what you want and are looking for. Therefore, to go on this journey, you need to come to terms with the amount of effort you will put in. A good man will not just waltz into your life. You have to play his music.

Be deliberate: Know what you want!

To Ore, a good man is financially stable, spiritually sound and focused. To Lydia, a good man is emotional, understanding and romantic. Joy’s ideal man is smart, goal-oriented and rich. Each person has her preference but to attract what you want; you need to know and define what you want. You need to define the ‘good’ in good man. Do you want a man that will open the doors for you forever or the one you can trust till your dying breath? Define it and then find it.

Become who you want to entice

The law of attraction simply says that you are what you like. Like attracts like. For you to attract a good man with an almost perfect behaviour, you need to make your behaviour almost perfect too. Be who you want to attract that they may be attracted to you. So, if you want a peaceful, calm and collected person as opposed to your own personality, something has to change. Keep being who you are but also know that you are what you attract.

Make your self-esteem shoot through the roof

There is something about confidence that puts power into your hands. Carrying yourself with poise, having trust in yourself and having a self-loving aura. You need to be confident. Your confidence will repel the toxicity of men who want to look down on you.

“You control what you can control – your image, the way you conduct yourself, the way you let men talk to and approach you – and use that to get the relationship you want.” – Steve Harvey in Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man.

Establish limits

With the right amount of confidence and a clear image of the ideal man you want, setting boundaries should come naturally. NEVER settle for less. Define your boundaries and stick with them. Clearly define your deal breakers when defining the ‘good’ you want in a man. Don’t make the mistake of being with someone who doesn’t respect your boundaries.

Throw out the old lenses

Many ladies judge new relationships by their past and toxic one. If you really want Prince Charming, you should throw out the lens that still sees the past. It is a new start so it is time for a new lens. It may not be easy but if you want a good man, you need to let go of past memories which cloud your judgement. Do not accidentally push away a good man because your ex broke your heart – he isn’t worth losing a good man for.

Good men are not easy to get by but with the right knowledge of and attitude to getting a good man, you can kiss your days of ‘chopping’ breakfast goodbye! 

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