By Kareem Opeyemi.
She was the girl everyone wanted to be. Her grades were perfect, she was financially stable and most of all, she was in a relationship with the heartthrob of the school. The man every girl wanted to be with. Frances was living the life with her man, Tobi. They went on dates, parties, they basically did everything together. “He was always so perfect and I loved him. He was my whole world, until he wasn’t. He changed.” She said, “I knew something was up. Eventually I caught him with a girl he claimed to be his cousin. I was so devastated and depressed, I wanted to die.”
Relationships are always so beautiful. Two strangers falling in love, placing an insane amount trust in each other until that trust is broken. This leads to the probing question; Why do people cheat on those they love? Infidelity is not a new phenomenon and frankly it is not surprising in relationships these days. Apparently, the order of the day is having one main partner and multiple lower ranked partners called side chicks. The brunt of infidelity is felt by women and men alike. As illogical as infidelity is, it affects a person emotionally and psychologically.
Margaret, a business woman and mother of five said “We were university sweethearts but things changed after we got married and had kids. I began to notice him distancing himself from me. He’d come home late, he stopped eating the meals I made. My doubts were confirmed when I saw him with a girl no younger than our first daughter, at a restaurant. I wasn’t myself for a while but I’m better now.”
There are many unjustifiable reasons why people cheat on their partners. Poor communication, one person falling out of love or selfishness. However, the person who is cheated on has to live with countless consequences as a result of this. There is no particular order that a person might experience the effects of a cheating partner but self-blame/ self-loathing is a common aftereffect from cheating. Questions like ‘Did I cause my partner to cheat? Am I good enough? Could I have done more?’ plague their thoughts. The list is endless.
A person who has been cheated on will lack trust in everyone and themselves. Trust takes years to build and seconds to destroy. Cheating renders a relationship useless. Nothing is more painful than a broken heart. Hatred begins to replace all the love and memories. Bitterness grows in their heart. Some people start craving revenge on their partners leading to ugly attacks. They go as far as murder, especially hot-tempered people. Others contemplate self-harm.
Infidelity in a relationship is inexcusable. When your spouse cheats, it can be one of the most incredibly difficult times of your life, especially if you had no idea about what was happening. The road to recovery is not easy but you will be so glad when you come through to the other side.
