Finding beauty – In search of the perfect look

By Onabanjo Oluwafunmi

I was surfing the internet on a certain day, I came across a video of a lady pleading to people. Her lips were very pink- and big. (See picture of the lips above).  From the looks of it, If one prickled it with a needle, it might burst open. In her video, the lady explained her ordeal after using DIY lip balm. She asked people to suggest what she could do to her lips to make them go down or back to their original size.

According to her, she was tired of buying different types of lip balm, pink lips scrub and the likes that only give temporary results. She wanted a permanent solution, something that would last long. In an attempt to “find beauty”, she decided to have her own homemade procedure for pink lips. Unfortunately, everything went south; her lips began to grow bigger making life a bit unpleasant for her.

This is one out of the countless stories of people, especially youths who would go to any length to “feel good” about themselves by changing their physical appearances. They buy pills, creams and go for all sorts of surgeries such as bum and breast enlargements, plump/thin pink lips, Botox, liposuctions and many more depending on what’s currently in vogue.

 Those that can’t avoid the expensive surgeries are left to seek other ways thus leaving them at the mercy of quacks and hawkers – people who mix all sorts of concoctions and herbs with 100% assurance of desired results – of course, it’s a lie. Many people know this truth yet it doesn’t deter them from trying out anything as long as it promises the results they want. So why do they still indulge in this “finding beauty” quest? I spoke with a few friends and their answers left me bewildered yet it seemed logical. Below are some of the responses I received

The secrets behind the “finding beauty” quest

“Most youths want the perfect body they see on the gram. These sets of people want to model their lives to a celebrity’s taste. They are not ready to embrace their imperfections.” Lateefat said. They are rather ready to flaunt the new body on social media. In the end, they garner thousands of likes and comments. Thus building some sort of self-confidence in their new look. Besides, it’s a fact people make models out of celebrities. And in the spur-of-the-moment, they are pressured to post more pictures to enter the league of supermodels. They find more means to maintain that new look that’s gaining social media attention. And how do you think they would keep that in check?

Peace thinks that’s the latest trend. It is what is prevalent in society. “The world is evolving. Youths want to be socially acceptable. They go through pain to look like specs,” she said.  Even celebrities are not exempt. If an actor or actress is not handsome or beautiful respectively, they are trolled on social media.  Besides, there are some movie roles or jobs you can’t get if you don’t look a certain kind of way. Brands and companies also want ambassadors with badass shapes as the face of their products. And as you know, some of these celebrities encourage body contouring just to boost their self-esteem and confidence.

Pharez believes it’s due to the sexual atmosphere created. An outcry of moral decadence.

“For guys who want pink lips, it’s mostly because they are looking to catch girls and get laid and also to look kinda hot.”

For the ladies enlarging bum and breast, it’s not so different too. Guys get attracted to what they see. And for a guy to notice a girl, you must first look a spec.” He said. “And in this generation men go crazy over any lady that possesses a good shape and has quality representation in those departments.”

“It’s Inferiority complex,” Temi said. “No two ways about it, they want to ” feel among”. They feel more confident and pretty when they do so.”

We live in a society where everything has become acceptable, nobody cares about the dangers or the side effects creams and surgeries can cause. Although most of them change their appearance because of low self-esteem or probably body shaming. Ifeoma agrees, “They change their appearance because of the constant verbal abuse they might have received. I know a girl who said she will do her nose one day because of the way they insult her about her looks. Now we live in a society of ehmmm big bum bum and breast. Honestly, if you don’t have it then you are not sexy to a lot of people.”

And I couldn’t agree more.

There’s also a friend of mine. She’s of darker skin that glows even in the sun. Recently I met her at a baby christening and I was shocked. Her skin was no longer glowing. She is now very light (if not like snow white) with dark knuckles and blotches. Her green veins were visible. Her face was already sunburned. One could tell it’s probably from the constant use of whitening cream.

We exchanged pleasantries and talked for a while- reminiscing our secondary school escapades.

I got to know why her skin colour changed.

“I was tired of the constant body shaming I received. People wouldn’t stop calling me ” blackey” “Devil’s daughter” and all sorts of nasty names,” she said. ” I wanted to become a bit lighter so I bought cream for fair people. Few weeks later I started getting the result I wanted – I became lighter. Soon I noticed there were dark blotches everywhere. I felt if I continued using it, everything would blend and soon my skin would glow but I was wrong. Anyways I’ve stopped using the cream,” she sighed.

I felt pity for her because I loved her natural skin tone. She could almost pass for a model. And she was a tall female.

 Who takes the blame?

Should we blame our constantly changing world? Or should we blame humans for even inventing technologies that aid in these surgeries or producing pills and lotions that alter the physical appearance?

Certainly, we’ve seen that people are in search of physical beauty to boost their confidence, get more jobs, imitate their celebrity models and be accepted in our society

But like Golda Poretsky once said, “Beauty shouldn’t be about changing yourself to achieve an ideal or be more socially acceptable. Real beauty, the interesting, truly pleasing kind, is about honoring the beauty within you and without you. It’s about knowing that someone else’s definition of pretty has no hold over you.”

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