By Bababunmi Agbebi
With Mother’s Day just around the corner, a time set aside to honor the love, sacrifice, and care of the women who raised us, it’s worth examining one of the most debated family dynamics: the mother-daughter relationship.
Often described as the strongest of all parent-child bonds, some even argue it surpasses that of father and son. But as powerful as this connection can be, it is also one of the most complex.
Yetunde Pedro, a mother to a 10-year-old daughter, believes that a mother’s role goes beyond love and nurturing. “A mother should set rules, establish boundaries, and act as a mentor and guide,” she says. Yetunde admits that raising a daughter can be uniquely challenging. “It’s like raising a mini-version of yourself and no one wants to constantly argue with a smaller version of themselves.”
Roseline Maduejegbu, a recent university graduate, recalls a major falling-out with her mother when she decided to take a year off school for personal reasons. “She was quick to voice her disappointment without trying to understand me, and that really strained our relationship.” Now, however, their bond has strengthened. “We go shopping together, buy similar clothes. I cherish what we have now. Back then, I just wasn’t ready to face the consequences of my decisions.”
Not all stories end in reconciliation. Adijat, a 63-year-old woman who prefers to go by her first name, shares a more painful experience. “My mother has been gone for seven years, but I and three of my sisters were never close to her, even until her death.” Adijat explains that their mother continued to treat them like children well into their adulthood, often speaking down to them in front of their own children and outsiders. “You can’t speak to grandmothers in their sixties like they’re kids,” she says. “We kept our distance to avoid further disrespect. She always claimed she was just being strict.” Despite the estrangement, Adijat insists she has no regrets. “We gave her a proper burial, but we knew where to draw the line.”
These stories reflect the complexity and emotional depth of the mother-daughter bond. While it can be nurturing, empowering, and deeply fulfilling, it can also be fraught with misunderstanding and unmet expectations.
Still, it’s worth remembering that healthy mother-daughter relationships have the power to shape not only families, but also how women relate to others across generations and communities.
